Introduction: To properly answer your question I shall first explain how the Jewish wedding evolved from Biblical and Talmudic times and became a ceremony with three essential components and several optional customs.
A. Erusin and Nisuin – Wedding Antecedents
More than two millennia ago, the Jewish wedding process was divided into two distinct stages. The
erusin àÅéøåÌñÄéï, betrothal,
[1] later termed
kedushin ÷ÄéãåÌùÄÑéï, took place in the house of the bride's parents.
[2] It was accompanied by a blessing,
birkat erusin. However, the marriage itself was consummated only at a later date, usually a few months later,
[3] when the bride moved into the groom's house. It was then that blessings for the
nesuinðÄéùÌÒåÌàÄéï , marriage, were recited. Later, in the Middle Ages (12
th-14th centuries), the
erusin was juxtaposed to the
nesuin in one ceremony,
[4] and the
ketubah marriage document was inserted as a demarcating sign between the two. Ever since, a three part ceremony has become the standard template of the Jewish marriage.
B. The Tripartite Structure of Orthodox Wedding Ceremonies
Orthodox wedding ceremonies are structured around these three essential components, each of which is a specific form of nuptial commitment based on the three ways of marital acquisition stipulated in the first mishnah of tractate Kiddushin. They are: keseph (monetary value), shetar (document) and biah (physical entering, i.e., conjugal relations):
1. Keseph is represented by the ring presented by the groom to the bride. This is kiddushin, sanctification, and indicates that the woman is betrothed and the couple is now entering an exclusive relationship. After reciting a blessing over the wine, the officiating rabbi recites a blessing contrasting the forbidden sexual relationships to the sanctified covenant of wedlock. The groom then gives the bride a ring and proclaims "You are betrothed to me according to the law of Moses and Israel". Two designated witnesses testify "betrothed".
2.
Shetar is the document which is now called
ketubah ëÀÌúåÌáÈÌä. In Biblical times the groom gave an oral promise of payment (called
mohar) to the father of the bride. In Talmudic times this obligation was formalized and written down in a document and therefore became to be known as
ketubah (written down).
[5] The requisite minimal amount was set at 200
dinar (later
zuz[6]), and the obligation was now to pay the bride herself.
[7] This was a considerable sum then, roughly enough for a year's living expenses.
[8] As a result, many young bachelors were forced to delay their marriage until accumulating adequate funds. In the 1
st century BCE, Shimon ben Shetach (c.120-40 BCE) instituted a decree to turn the 200
dinar into a type of loan that the bride would collect only after her husband died or divorced her. He also stipulated that the husband's possessions would serve as collateral for this possible future payment.
[9] Another innovation in Talmudic times was to stipulate the obligations of the husband to support his wife and to fulfill all her needs.
The ketubah also spelled out additional sums besides the 200 zuz and this was called
tosefet ketubah. Furthermore, it detailed the dowry that the bride herself brought to the wedding. In effect, the
ketubah had become a prototype of a prenuptial agreement and it was written in Aramaic, the lingua franca in Talmudic times. In Orthodox weddings the
ketubah follows the original Aramaic formulations thus preserving the ancient spirit of the wedding formula down to antiquated particulars such as the 200
zuz. It is usually read aloud.
[10]
3.
Biah is represented symbolically by huppah
çËôÈÌä (the wedding canopy) and by yihud
éÄçåÌã. The latter means unity and signifies the unique unity of the married couple.
[11] This third stage is the
nesuin and is marked by
Sheva Berakhot. These are composed of one blessing recited over a cup of wine and six blessings expressing joy and hope for the wedding.
[12]
C. Additional Customs in Orthodox Wedding Ceremonies
Today, there are several additional customs that are standard in most Orthodox weddings. These include the receptions where the bride sits on a special bridal chair and the groom sits at another location at a tisch (Yiddish for table). The bedeken (covering, Hebrew, hinuma) heralds the ceremonial beginning as the groom is accompanied to the bridal chair and covers her face with a veil. After that, under the huppah, the bride circles the groom at least once, and in many weddings three or even seven times. Finally, a popular custom is the groom's breaking a glass and reciting two verses from Psalms 137, 5-6 which begin "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let me forget my right hand".
While a typical Orthodox wedding ceremony (
huppah) will last about 20 or 30 minutes, some are considerably longer. Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, the Rabbinic musical innovator of the 20
th century, turned the Orthodox wedding into a major happening that lasted a couple of hours by interspersing stories, explanations, songs and drama.
[13]
D. Non-Orthodox Weddings
Non Orthodox ceremonies adapt many of the above customs but rework them to fit modern concerns such as egalitarianism. For example, rings are exchanged, both groom and bride may circle each other, and the
ketubah is rewritten to reflect modern cultural nuances and changing views on relationships. Furthermore, some non-Orthodox clergy revamp the ceremony to apply even to interfaith marriages and same sex marriages.
[14]
Conclusion: To sum up, the tripartite template of a Jewish wedding ceremony begins with the act of erusin (betrothal) = kiddushin (sanctification), continues with the ketubah as a written document of obligations, and concludes with nisuin as a full marital exclamation of joy focusing on the sheva berakhot. In a way, it is like a prescribed musical score that can be varied and adapted according to personal and communal interests and wishes. However, the Orthodox weddings emphasize the necessity to adhere to the original structure, language and form as crystallized in Talmudic times, whereas non-Orthodox weddings innovate more liberally.
[1] The term
erusin in the Bible indicates a betrothal (e.g., Exodus 22,15 and Deuteronomy 22, 23).
[2] Unlike today, marriages in Talmudic times typically took place at a younger age, and girls lived in their parents' home before moving to the house of their husband. On the topic of early marriage see my JVO response at
http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/515.
[3] The time limit for the betrothed woman to get herself organized with clothing and necessities for marriage was 12 months for a virgin (i.e., a girl who had never been married and set up a household), and a maximum of 30 days for a widow (Mishnah Ketubot 5,2).
[4] See evidence from the early 14
th century in the
Tur, Even HaEzer 62,1, where R. Jacob ben Asher (died in Toledo, Spain about 1343), states that the custom
now is to perform the
erusin during the time of the
huppah and therefore the
erusin blessing is juxtaposed to the
nisuin blessings, but each with its own cup of wine. Compare Avraham Chaim Freimann,
The Order of Kiddushin and Nissu'in After the Conclusion of the Talmud, Jerusalem, 1945 [Hebrew].
[5] Meir Bar Ilan, "Marriage and Other Basic Problems in Ancient Jewish Society",
Cathedra, 121 (2006), pp. 23-52 [Hebrew].
[6] In the Aramaic version of the
ketubah the term
zuz is used because in Babylonia, under the Sassanid Empire from the early 3rd century onward, the standard silver unit was the Sassanid drachm, called in the Talmud
zuz from the Akkadian zuzu, "to cut". The 3
rd century was one of inflation throughout the Roman Empire, so much so that by the 270s the denarius, instead of being
1/
25 aureus was
1/
1000. See
Talmud Yerushalmi,
Ketubot 11,2, 34b. For the coinage system see Daniel Sperber, "Coins in Talmudic Literature," in Arie Kindler, et al. "Coins and Currency,"
Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), 2
nd ed., vol. 5, Detroit, 2007, pp. 52-53. In the 16
th century, the
halakhic evaluation for 200
zuz was established in the
Shulhan Arukh as 120 grams of pure silver and according to the
Ramah at 960 grams of pure silver.
[7] See the
Mishnah in Ketubot 1,2 where the mandated sum is 200 (dinar) for a virgin (an unmarried woman) and 100 for a widow, i.e., a woman had been previously married. Compare
Yerushalmi Ketubot, 67b (ch. 12,
halacha 5) where
ketubot can also be 1,000 dinar. Compare 64b (ch. 12, 1) where an obligation is to provide the bride 12 golden
dinar a year for living expenses.
[8] The
ketubah was meant to ensure an income for the woman should she be widowed or divorced. A minimal year's living expenses was approximately 200
zuz (dinarim). The average wage of a day laborer during the Tannaitic and early Amoraic period was 1 to 2 dinarim per day. An agricultural laborer who worked an average of 20 days a month (excluding Shabbat, festivals and sick days) earned between 20 to 40 dinarim a month. A person had to work between half an hour to an hour to earn the price of a loaf of bread. See Nisan Rubin,
Time and the Life Cycle in Talmud and Midrash: Socio-Anthropological Perspectives, Brighton, Mass., 2008, ch. 4, pp. 75-76. For a listing of daily wages see Daniel Sperber,
Roman Palestine 200-400: Money and Prices, Ramat Gan, 1974, pp. 101-102.
[9] See
Ketubot 82b and
Shabbat 14b. This is considered a radical document in its day because it provided women with legal status and rights in marriage that were not prevalent in ancient times. Compare See Yoel Shiloh, "The Financial Obligation in the Ketubah,"
Daf Shevui of Bar Ilan University Campus Rabbi, 681, 2007, www.biu.ac.il/jh/parasha/vayshlah/ish.html [Hebrew].
[10] Rashi in the 11
th century began a custom of reading the
ketubah under the wedding canopy.
[11] The idea of yihud as indicating a private meeting between groom and bride at a place set aside for the purpose is mentioned in Ketubot 54b; 56a, and later formulated in the
halachic compilations of the
Rambam, Hilchot Ishut 10:1, 2; and
Shulhan Aruch, Even HaEzer 55:1-2. In some
Sephardic Orthodox weddings the
yihud takes place only after the end of the entire wedding celebration.
[12] The first two blessings celebrate the creation of the world and of human life. The earliest antecedent of these two blessings can be traced back to the
Book of Tuviah in the Apocrypha about the 3
rd century BCE. The other blessings describe how God brings joy to Zion through her children and specifically to groom and bride. The final blessing expresses hope for eternal happiness and peace for the bride and groom. The text and structure of these blessings was crystallized by the end of the 3
rd century – beginning of the 4
th century (Meir Bar-Ilan,
The Bridegrooms' Diadem, Bnei Berak, 2004, pg. 99). The full text of all the blessings is presented in
Bavli,
Ketubot 7b-8a. The medieval
halachic source placing these blessings as the prelude to the
nesuin can be found in the
Rambam in
Hilkhot Ishut 10,3 followed by the
Tur and the
Shulhan Arukh in
Even HaEzer, 62, 1.
[13] For an example of a Shlomo Carlebach wedding video posted on the web see Blip.TV,
http://blip.tv/days/wasserman-wedding-with-rav-shlomo-carlebach-and-rabbi-david-stavsky-5101899. There on June 28, 1988, Reb Shlomo, together with his colleague Rabbi David Stavsky, performs the wedding of Harvey Wasserman and Susan Saks. Shlomo recites each of the seven blessings of the
Sheva Berachot, interspersing explanations and songs, and taking about 20 minutes just for this segment. Afterwards, during the wedding reception he continues with music, storytelling, hermeneutical explanations, and personal references.
[14] See Rela M. Geffen, "Contemporary Innovations," in the entry on "Marriage" in
Encyclopaedia Judaica (ed. Michael Berenbaum and Fred Skolnik), vol. 13, Detroit, pp. 573-574.