Deuteronomy 7:3-4

          Neither shalt thou make marriages with them: thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter

          shalt thou take unto thy son. For he will turn away thy son from following Me, that they may serve other gods…

When the verse stresses the concern that marrying someone who practices a different religion will possibly result in the Jewish individual renouncing his traditions in favor of someone else’s, it becomes clear that the issue under consideration is how best to assure the continuity of one’s religious heritage. If significant value is assigned to preserving a particular set of religious commitments and practices, then such beliefs and activities  are obviously best reinforced within a family setting, where parents, children, grandchildren, etc.  adhere to rituals and beliefs that have been passed down by the family and the community  through the generations. When, however, religion is privatized and individualized rather than carried forward within a familial context, i.e., each person on his own is expected to attempt  to support and pass on his/her own religious traditions independent of the practices and beliefs of his/her spouse and extended family, research has supported the conclusion that the odds against such a religion’s cultural and historical survival increase dramatically. Judaism is a social, communal religion, wherein what an individual considers to be his/her rights and privileges are sometimes subsumed to the needs, priorities and values of the greater group. The extent to which someone is prepared to comply with these requirements and make the requisite sacrifices is a function of how devoted s/he is to the preservation and vitality of the religious tradition in question. Consequently, an observant Jew can be very accepting and respectful of all racial and ethnic groups, even as s/he will consider only other Jews as potential spouses. 

 

Your question is one of the most ticklish ones to answer and every rabbi, especially progressive rabbis, have struggled with it.

However, I want to clarify something about your questions. We have not arrived at a ‘post-racial world.’ And, even if we had, Judaism cannot be defined as a race in the customary use of the word. I think what you were asking is that since our world – especially the Western world – is so integrated, why should intermarriage be such a big deal.

 

Indeed, for many people it isn’t a big deal at all. You can see this in every Jewish community – yes, even Orthodox ones, where a Jew is married to a non-Jew. However, in the Conservative and Reform communities, the intermarriage rate is high. This is especially true in different parts of the country where, for various reason of demography and culture, intermarriage rates can approach 70%. 

 

But, to get back to your question. Why is intermarriage such a big deal? It is a question of covenant. 

It is relatively easy for a child to be educated in a Jewish manner as to the meaning of covenant and being a part of the Jewish people if the parents are Jewish. Even if there are no children, where the religio-cultural bonds are unquestioned, connection to the Jewish world is easy. And that connection to the Jewish family and to the covenant between God and the Jewish people is what being Jewish is all about. Our faith is a brit – a promise to God that our Jewish family is bound to Him (pardon the gender specificity but grammar dictates it).

 

When Jews marry out of the faith, let me be clear that I do not believe they have committed a sin. But it takes much more work to create a Jewish home when one partner is not Jewish. I have seen many families succeed beautifully in this regard and their children are knowledgeable and good Jews dedicated to the Jewish people and to Jewish life. But the parents in these cases decided to raise their children Jewishly, have an exclusively Jewish home and live in a Jewish environment which they actively created.

 

On the other hand, there are many families that choose to live in at least two religious traditions. The children are raised with two traditions. I know of no rabbi who sanctions this. As well, we have seen families where the parents may be afraid to choose for the child and so decide to leave the issue on the table until the child can decide what religion s/he wants to be. Sometimes this works, often it does not for a variety of reasons.

 

The issue of interfaith marriages matters because marriage matters.  Jewish families that want to identify as Jewish families and live as Jewish families actively bind themselves to Judaism and the Jewish people. Being a part of the covenant is an active step, not merely something you are born into. Diminishing its importance or value is a diminution of the Jewish people.