Every parent worries for the welfare of their children, and this is evident in your question. You are worried about her future happiness. You wonder if you set a strong enough foundation upon which she can build her life. These are the kinds of burdens we accept as parents. Our children remain our concern throughout our lives.
You wonder about the influence your past may have had upon your daughter. It is hard to know how that impact is felt. What one child sees as a bad example that sends them down a certain path, a different child may see as a lesson learned to help them make informed choices in the future. Regardless, the past is behind us and beyond our ability to influence it.
I applaud your desire to do what you can to help your daughter achieve happiness. I would encourage you to place your emphasis on the present. This is the time in which you can support her as she chooses her current life choices. The talmud (Kiddushin 29a) teaches that a parent has the responsibility to prepare their child for adulthood by instructing them in Torah, guiding them to earn a livelihood and teaching them how to swim. I was taught that this last requirement, to teach swimming, should not be taken literally. Rather it refers to the uncertain waters that we all experience throughout our life. We don't want to get swept off our feet, to be caught in a riptide, or forget how to tread water. As I read your question, it is in regards to this last skill that you can be most helpful to your daughter.
You ask, “Should I give up hoping and accept that this is a lost cause?” Certainly not. You have the opportunity to model for your daughter the skills of swimming in the currents of life's challenges. You have the ability to offer a supportive hand to help steady her when that is necessary. You can be present as a focal point, so that she does not get swept off of her feet. These are ways to be present, recognizing that you cannot make choices for your grown daughter, that harsh words are unlikely to be heard, and that agonizing over what is past will not change the present.
Shortly before his death in 1972 Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel was asked what he thought of the youth rebellion of that day in light of the Biblical command to honor one's parents. He responded, as best I recall, that it is the responsibility of parents to act in such a way that the children can honor them. You can be present for your daughter as a loving and accepting mother. You can model the behavior you would wish for her in your own life, whether that is through Jewish observance, creating an open and welcoming home or any other way that you feel appropriate. You are not able to compel your daughter to behave in any particular way, but you can model positive behavior that she may choose to emulate.