You ask, "Can I consider myself Jewish in the full sense of the term?" You give a fairly mainstream history for a Jewish person in our times. Elders who, sadly, were victims of the Holocaust, celebration of major holidays in a non-religious way, deep attachment to your Jewish identity including perpetuation of family traditions, so I take it that for you, there's Jewish and then there's Jewish. You are writing, it sounds, as a seeker of greater fullness. It's difficult to infer from the written word, so I wonder if I am reading you right?
All that I can tell you is that Jewish "in the full sense of the term," is where the juicy, amazing, value for living within being Jewish can be found. For this our ancestors strove to sustain and evolve our traditions. When I worked for P'nai Or in Portland, Oregon and B'nai Or in Boston, MA, I found such communities. There is such a joy of having a Jewish community connection where people are kind to one another, where Torah study is non-dogmatic, deep, and spiritually profound. Look for where mitzvah-centered, rather than self-centered living is the core ethos. Every branch of Judaism is worthy of your exploration, it takes some exploration, and you will find the places and approaches that are meant for your soul's journey.
There is another kind of fullness, it is finding where your talents, skills and ideas are needed on behalf of the Jewish and human future. The Jewish people is one of the longest continually existing forms of human organization on the planet -- despite all of the unwarranted persecution our ancestors experirenced -- we are still here! In creation that means we have adapted and remain for good reason. Is your role as a peacemaker? As someone who visits those who are ill? As a creator of new Jewish art? As an advocate for justice? As a Jewish journalist who highlights good news or opportunities to fulfill mitzvah needs? Here is a list of possible roles within Jewish life to consider for yourself. http://bmitzvah.org/teachings/holy-rolers-who-are-you-becoming-community There's an incredible fullness that comes from jumping in and being an activist member of the tribe.
Perhaps one of the reasons I was invited to be a commentator for this stie is that I've written a lot on the meaning, relevance and spirituality of Judaism for daily living. You might take a look at the many free pages I've written at www.ReclaimingJudaism.org, or any of the many books I've written that are mentioned there, as well.
with blessings for the fullness to which you aspire and a hearty l'shana tova, Rabbi Goldie Milgram
Answered by: Rabbi Dr. Goldie Milgram